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Thread: DH Adopting DD?

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    Default DH Adopting DD?

    My first born's father isn't in the picture. Do I still need to track him down for permission to have DH adopt DD? Because I wouldn't even know where to begin finding him, and he's not on the birth certificate. My DD has recently expressed that it bothers her that she has a different last name than all of us. (She has my maiden name) and that if she looks to DH as dad, why can't she have his named. DH.and I discussed it, and we want to do it.

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    There are many factors to that. Have you been to court expressing that he is the father? Is signing his rights something you think he would do? What about just getting her last name changed instead of all the court stuff (time,cost)

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    Do I need her bio dads permission to change her last name? If by chance I was able to track him down, I have my doubts he would be cooperative. I never thought of simply changing her name though, that suggest itself has my brain wheels turning.. thanks!

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    IMO, you need a lawyer if bio-dad isn't present or willing.

    Yes, if you want to do a step parent adoption you will need to track biodad down and alla that. His consent is required, or at least you are required to take steps to attempt to alert him that an adoption case has been presented. Even if you claim you don't know who the father is, they are still not going to just “no dad? Okay then, here's a kid“.

    If you are up for some fraud: If DD's biodad has never been in the picture and she is under the age of 9 and you have an empty daddy slot on her birth cert, you could submit an application to amend the birth certificate to put your DH's name on. This is like... 20$ or something. Then, with your DH listed as the father on the birth certificate, you can change her last name.

    However, if the biodad was involved at any time or if you still hang out with his family or something, this is probably not a wise thing to do as I believe its fraud of some sort and potentially a criminal offense.

    Step parent adoption does not result in immediate name change, that's a separate step.
    Last edited by WateryTart; 10-04-2012 at 02:13 PM.

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    Check this out Changing Your Name - Ontario.ca

    and if you go to the form....

    http://www.forms.ssb.gov.on.ca/mbs/s...ile/11156E.pdf

    On page 9 of 20 you only need to notify bio dad if you do not have sole legal custody. You need to attach court documents stating that you do. I know my DH put a clause in his court papers that stated that mom can not change the kids names and that has to be followed if you have the clause regardless of custody

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    Well I would much rather keep things legal, and since DD is Caucasian and DH is Native American it would be all too obvious anyway lol. I do t have legal custody because its never been an issue. But maybe ill start there. Biodad would never show up anyway.

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    Yeeeah I'm native american and DF isn't... And our DD looks NOTHING like me... Blonde hair, blue eyes, and fair skin
    Also I went to legal aide myself and they cold me to contact CAS for some reason beyond me?
    I advice a good family lawyer that may give you a free consult.

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    You state he isn't on the birth certificate, but does he have any legal rights? My son's father is not on a single thing, he never had visitation, I never went for support, etc. For legal purposes he does not have a father.

    I looked online about 7 years ago and you can get papers (usually with the stuff about changing names) where you just “add“ a father, it actually had a box to check if this was bio dad or another dad. It was about $80. I found the papers again a couple years ago and it seemed to be the same. You could contact the government and ask for sure, but if she doesn't have a legal father, then its much simpler than adopting or going to court.

    Most likely you can sign a sworn affidavit if it was required (I did this for osap) by having a lawyer watch you sign and then you sign a paper stating you are a sole parent. Or I had to have notes from school admin. (tvdsb won't do this), or dr, or daycare stating that I am the only parent, as far as they know.

    ETA: for the name change, my friend did that about 7 years ago. Her dad had an affair and her parents got divorced so she didn't want his last name anymore (kinda strange reason, IMO) so she changed her name and her son's. He was about 4 at the time. His dad had walked out when she was 3 months pregnant and she had no issues changing his last name.
    Last edited by melissawilliam; 10-04-2012 at 09:07 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bumpkin View Post
    Yeeeah I'm native american and DF isn't... And our DD looks NOTHING like me... Blonde hair, blue eyes, and fair skin
    Also I went to legal aide myself and they cold me to contact CAS for some reason beyond me?
    I advice a good family lawyer that may give you a free consult.
    You have a point there..My youngest DD has the blondish hair and blue eyes and fair skin too. Yeah I think ill look into lawyers, but I'm seriously contemplating just the name change.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bumpkin View Post
    Yeeeah I'm native american and DF isn't... And our DD looks NOTHING like me... Blonde hair, blue eyes, and fair skin
    Also I went to legal aide myself and they cold me to contact CAS for some reason beyond me?
    I advice a good family lawyer that may give you a free consult.
    Yup.. we are the opposite. Bio is Native and DD is lily-white with blue eyes and light brown hair. A darker complexion is not always passed on, especially if there is some euro-ancestry on both sides....

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