Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. #1
    Expert Forum User
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    2,626
    Rep Power
    124

    Default Fighting the urge to fire my 4th family lawyer!!!

    Beyond not happy!!

    Separated nearly 10 years now and this is still not done. Spent way too many $1,000's of dollars, more than I can ever hope to recover. Still do not "officially" have custody, can't get ex to submit and reimburse the very odd few medical claims, he currently pays nothing in terms of daycare and/or S7s. Nothing more than venting how he can't afford anything. He currently has a lawyer working probono. This lawyer is the stereotypical type who gives lawyers a bad name. His style is totally disrespectful without verbal vent, lashing out wild accusations that come out of nowhere, have no element of truth and even if they did have no relevance.... This is in a good day because typical is complete ignoring anything from me/my lawer. I am paying full rate for services from a lawyer who I was told was good and has a solid reputation. I made it very clear to him 2ish years ago when I retained him what my expectation was: I needed someone who would be willing to take this all the way to trial because that is the only way I will get resolution (walking away not an option for me). He said yes. Fast forward to present day... Many, many letters, 2case conference, a settlement conference, a trial management conference, not being ready for trial last year because we still did not have full disclosure from opposing counsel... I finally got a trial date set for two weeks ago tomorrow. At this point opposing counsel started to respond to us and my lawyer felt we were close enough to settle that he took my case off the trial list. Not a word from opposing counsel since. I am furious!!!! Even the "draft minutes of settlement" are missing some key elements. The most worrisome: no mechanism to hold the ex accountable to the terms of this agreement. According tommy lawyer there is nothing I can do besides letting arrears build up and taking him to court... No different than the position I am in right now where the costs overshadow the benefit. My lawyer is now telling me he is advising against trial because of the expense... $3,000/day for a 5day trial where I will be needing to call witnesses to attest for the medical needs and therapeutic / medical S7s I am claiming. We can't even agree to what qualifies as a S7. I am just so fed up... I keep on hearing about other people and their experiences... How "easy" it seems to get things done. Why don't I see that? Last time I was before a judge was for a settlement/trial management conference. What happened? Opposing counsel kept repeating how my ex goes to the food bank (dont believe that) and I am a member of a gun club ( never have been). The judge looked at the file. Said it was a "train wreck". Told opposing counsel to provide my lawyer with some disclosure (never happened) and that was it... Goodbye another several $1,000s for me. In this recent round of attempted settlement I keep repeating to my lawyer that I feel as though I am being bullied by 2yr old hissy fit tantrum behaviour from opposing counsel and this is not right.
    Last edited by Tanya-Mae; 09-30-2012 at 11:49 PM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    London, ON
    Posts
    2,341
    Rep Power
    246

    Default

    I'm so sorry to hear this
    The only amazing lawyer I know is in St. Thomas... Wish I could offer more!

  3. #3
    Expert Forum User
    hockeymomof3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Sarnia
    Posts
    9,044
    Rep Power
    549

    Default

    I did mine without a lawyer. S7 expenses are clearly listed, and my ex pays 88 percent of all those, medical, therapeutic, dental, eye glasses, extra expenses at school (not field trip unless over $100), daycare (when kids were younger)

  4. #4
    Expert Forum User
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    2,626
    Rep Power
    124

    Default

    I wish I could list S7s. I've asked my lawyer and he says no... It can't be done??? My logic tells me that there needs to be some agreement to what constitutes a valid S7 expense before you can even begin to discuss contribution amounts. I'm still waiting to get reimbursed for a medical claim I made him submit for an optical expense back in June for our daughter... How black & white of an issue is that?
    Last edited by Tanya-Mae; 10-01-2012 at 11:08 PM.

  5. #5
    Junior Member
    Kylee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    London
    Posts
    347
    Rep Power
    45

    Default

    medical expenses over $100 before you can request his contribution..... Will your request for more money put your ex in undue hardship? Here is the section in the family law act on S 7 expenses........ Any reson you can see why your lawyer says it can't be done?

    Definition, “extraordinary expenses”
    (1.1) For the purposes of clauses (1) (d) and (f),
    “extraordinary expenses” means
    (a) expenses that exceed those that the parent or spouse requesting an amount for the extraordinary expenses can reasonably cover, taking into account that parent’s or spouse’s income and the amount that the parent or spouse would receive under the applicable table or, where the court has determined that the table amount is inappropriate, the amount that the court has otherwise determined is appropriate, or
    (b) where clause (a) is not applicable, expenses that the court considers are extraordinary taking into account,
    (i) the amount of the expense in relation to the income of the parent or spouse requesting the amount, including the amount that the parent or spouse would receive under the applicable table or, where the court has determined that the table amount is inappropriate, the amount that the court has otherwise determined is appropriate,
    (ii) the nature and number of the educational programs and extracurricular activities,
    (iii) any special needs and talents of the child,
    (iv) the overall cost of the programs and activities, and
    (v) any other similar factors that the court considers relevant. O. Reg. 102/06, s. 1.
    Sharing of expense
    (2) The guiding principle in determining the amount of an expense referred to in subsection (1) is that the expense is shared by the parents or spouses in proportion to their respective incomes after deducting from the expense, the contribution, if any, from the child. O. Reg. 391/97, s. 7 (2).
    Subsidies, tax deductions, etc.
    (3) Subject to subsection (4), in determining the amount of an expense referred to in subsection (1), the court must take into account any subsidies, benefits or income tax deductions or credits relating to the expense, and any eligibility to claim a subsidy, benefit or income tax deduction or credit relating to the expense. O. Reg. 159/07, s. 2.
    Universal child care benefit
    (4) In determining the amount of an expense referred to in subsection (1), the court shall not take into account any universal child care benefit or any eligibility to claim that benefit. O. Reg. 159/07, s. 2.
    Split custody
    8. Where each parent or spouse has custody of one or more children, the amount of an order for the support of a child is the difference between the amount that each parent or spouse would otherwise pay if such an order were sought against each of the parents or spouses. O. Reg. 391/97, s. 8.
    Shared custody
    9. Where a parent or spouse exercises a right of access to, or has physical custody of, a child for not less than 40 per cent of the time over the course of a year, the amount of the order for the support of a child must be determined by taking into account,
    (a) the amounts set out in the applicable tables for each of the parents or spouses;
    (b) the increased costs of shared custody arrangements; and
    (c) the condition, means, needs and other circumstances of each parent or spouse and of any child for whom support is sought. O. Reg. 391/97, s. 9.
    Undue hardship
    10. (1) On the application of either spouse or an applicant under section 33 of the Act, a court may award an amount of child support that is different from the amount determined under any of sections 3 to 5, 8 or 9 if the court finds that the parent or spouse making the request, or a child in respect of whom the request is made, would otherwise suffer undue hardship. O. Reg. 391/97, s. 10 (1).
    Circumstances that may cause undue hardship
    (2) Circumstances that may cause a parent, spouse or child to suffer undue hardship include,
    (a) the parent or spouse has responsibility for an unusually high level of debts reasonably incurred to support the parents or spouses and their children during cohabitation or to earn a living;
    (b) the parent or spouse has unusually high expenses in relation to exercising access to a child;
    (c) the parent or spouse has a legal duty under a judgment, order or written separation agreement to support any person;
    (d) the spouse has a legal duty to support a child, other than a child of the marriage, who is,
    (i) under the age of majority, or
    (ii) the age of majority or over but is unable, by reason of illness, disability or other cause, to obtain the necessaries of life;
    (e) the parent has a legal duty to support a child, other than the child who is the subject of this application, who is under the age of majority or who is enrolled in a full time course of education;
    (f) the parent or spouse has a legal duty to support any person who is unable to obtain the necessaries of life due to an illness or disability. O. Reg. 391/97, s. 10 (2).

  6. #6
    Expert Forum User
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    2,626
    Rep Power
    124

    Default

    Nope, no reason. I account for all subsidies, benefits, charities, etc. and keep receipts for everything.... tracking that is necessary for ACSD my son receives. He has not put in a claim for undue hardship. My lawyer and I both agree that if one were made it would be denied. He is a single, no other kids besides our two. He does not make a huge amount of money ($44ish) but a lot more than I am this year ($12ish). I am very resourceful with my money and services delivery providers in the special needs community. I can make my money stretch. He cannot. He was earning just shy of &50k, receiving rental income on our matrimonial home after I left, was paying zero support for about 15 months yet managed to declare bankruptcy. He refuses to make lifestyle changes to provide for his kids... Spends a fortune on smokes and Timmies, etc instead of contribute to dental, speech therapy, orthodontic, etc. Not even the slightest hint of support for the expense associated with the depression/suicidal issues of our daughter... Out-of-town hospitalization and therapy is not cheap. He complained when I did not work (would actually cost me money to work if I could find a job that allowed me time off for appointments). When circumstances changed and I was able to put myself thru school and retrain for a profession that minimize daycare expense (I wrk in education) he criticizes the fact I am requesting (never recieved) contribution for daycare. He is just a very unhappy individual who is feeling victimized and blaming all outside sources (me) for his unhappiness.

  7. #7
    Junior Member
    Kylee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    London
    Posts
    347
    Rep Power
    45

    Default

    Sounds like you have your plate full! I am sorry you and your kids are going through all that without a shed of support from him. If I were a lawyer I would have jumped on the opportunity of the other party not being prepared. I can see why you would still want to go through with the trial and why you are soo frustrated. What does your lawyer want to do from here? Dh's lawyer basically bullied him into doing what he didnt want to do and he regrets it greatly. I would be asking the lawyer why it can't be done and to show you the precedent that shows you why it can't be done and explain to you how the facts of that case are the same as yours and if anything differs ask why he can't make a case on what differs from the case law.

  8. #8
    Junior Member

    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Hyde Park area
    Posts
    102
    Rep Power
    25

    Default

    Anytime I've gone to family CRT I used an amazing lawyer...her name was Brenda Barr. She was great at always getting me wat I wanted and in some cases more. It helps that my exes lawyers were always incompetent too thou good luck with everything I hope it wraps up soon for with the best outcome possible

  9. #9
    New Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    8
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    I don't have face these problem yet But when i have any legal issue i can ask my lawyer about that to get the best solution of my problem.But i am also worried now because he was died 2 weeks ago.

Similar Threads

  1. Review/recommend a Family Law lawyer please
    By mamaboo in forum Single Parenting
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 10-02-2014, 02:03 PM
  2. help for a family and house fire kijiji
    By eyebeeablessing2u in forum Chit Chat
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 12-23-2011, 04:10 PM
  3. Family Lawyer
    By BsMommy in forum Single Parenting
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 02-01-2010, 11:00 AM
  4. Need a cheap but GOOD lawyer for a family member
    By Haley's Mum in forum Single Parenting
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 03-20-2009, 04:24 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •