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  1. #1
    Senior Member CourtneyH's Avatar
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    Default My baby won't go to her daddy

    Anyone else have a baby that wants nothing to do with Daddy if Mommy isn't within eyesight? Niamh is almost 7 months old and for the past month will not drink a bottle for anyone but me, won't go to sleep for anyone but me and won't stay for longer than a few minutes with anyone other than me unless I am in the room.

    I left her with Daddy to go see Rent on Monday, she screamed from 6pm until I got home at 10:30 ... Daddy was spent. I took her she stopped crying, drank her bottle and went to sleep all within 15 minutes. I went to workout yesterday, she was sleeping when I left at 7:30 ... I got home at 8:45 and was told she woke 5 minutes after I left and cried the whole time.

    Anyone else have this or did you and how long did it last. I am going out of town 3rd weekend in April for a girl's weekend and am worried how she will do. I won't be anywhere near London to come home.


  2. #2
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    Carter went through moments like this. I always found it happened when he was going through some kind of change, rather a growth spurt or teeth. They didn't last long, usually about a week or two. It is a sticky situation, because it is nice to be wanted and loved, but you also need your time, and it kinda makes the dad feel a little crappy. I would just try and encourage play between Carter and DH, and I would be there as well.

    Not sure if that helps, take care..

  3. #3
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    e & c's mommy's Avatar
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    This sounds exactly how my dd was!!! She wouldn't go to ANYONE..including dh until probally around 8 months. When she was 7 months i had my semi-annual girls shopping weekend in the states...and i had to bring her. It wasn't that my dh wouldn't watch her, it was that ALL she did was cry for him...i figured it would't be fair to leave the screaming child home and have my 2 year old have a crappy weekend with daddy!..i remember i would have her sound asleep and leave to go do a quick grocery shop or something and 5 minutes after i was out the door, no matter how tired she was, she'd wake up screaming!!!. I remember him having to call me at my mom's (5 minutes away) to come home b/c she was hysterical! he felt SO bad calling me, but she was crazy!!!! Noone believed she was that upset w/out me until they tried to watch her. My mom, who has always had a way w/the grandkids admitted she was unable to soothe her. I had to co-sleep w/her until 8 months just to keep her asleep. My mom had her for a weekend at 8 months when we went to Edmonton, and she is very against me co-sleeping...the 1st night away she was up every 1/2 hour going into the room to calm her, the 2nd night...my mom 'fully against co-sleeping' brought her to bed w/her!!!..so, after me going on and on...i think it's worth a shot to leave her with her dad (if you don't have another child) he will have a tiring weekend but, you need your sanity and your dh has to bond with her (or try!!!)...it does get better!!! my baby still doesn't like certain people, but...she can be calmed down easier and she is such a daddy's girl now! plan your weekend away, you may need to let your dh catch up on some sleep...but, this stage is only temporary.

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    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!

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    Its a phase I think most kids go through.

    Soon you'll be posting that she doesn't want anything to do with you

    Just try to encourage as much involvement as possible with Dad and it'll get better!!

    It does suck in the meantime however!

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    Thank goodness it's not just me! It's starting to get really tiring. I can go out for a bit without DD and she's fine for about an hour then freaks out. And I seriously mean FREAKS out. DF feels horrible, useless and like she hates him. I don't know what to do. I've told him that spending some more time playing with her might help (instead of watching tv together after he's home from work). He says it's just because he only sees her for a few hours at night then on weekends. I don't know. Whatever the case, I could just really use a break or at least some help.

  6. #6
    Expert Forum User Becks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leigh View Post
    Its a phase I think most kids go through.

    Soon you'll be posting that she doesn't want anything to do with you

    Just try to encourage as much involvement as possible with Dad and it'll get better!!

    It does suck in the meantime however!
    Hey I wasjust about to say I think it is the opposite rightnow here...lol
    Cobe will come to me but he wants daddy a lot more lol
    I agree just a phase
    Becky Mom to X and C

  7. #7
    Senior Member CourtneyH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by e & c's mommy View Post
    This sounds exactly how my dd was!!! She wouldn't go to ANYONE..including dh until probally around 8 months. When she was 7 months i had my semi-annual girls shopping weekend in the states...and i had to bring her. It wasn't that my dh wouldn't watch her, it was that ALL she did was cry for him...i figured it would't be fair to leave the screaming child home and have my 2 year old have a crappy weekend with daddy!..i remember i would have her sound asleep and leave to go do a quick grocery shop or something and 5 minutes after i was out the door, no matter how tired she was, she'd wake up screaming!!!. I remember him having to call me at my mom's (5 minutes away) to come home b/c she was hysterical! he felt SO bad calling me, but she was crazy!!!! Noone believed she was that upset w/out me until they tried to watch her. My mom, who has always had a way w/the grandkids admitted she was unable to soothe her. I had to co-sleep w/her until 8 months just to keep her asleep. My mom had her for a weekend at 8 months when we went to Edmonton, and she is very against me co-sleeping...the 1st night away she was up every 1/2 hour going into the room to calm her, the 2nd night...my mom 'fully against co-sleeping' brought her to bed w/her!!!..so, after me going on and on...i think it's worth a shot to leave her with her dad (if you don't have another child) he will have a tiring weekend but, you need your sanity and your dh has to bond with her (or try!!!)...it does get better!!! my baby still doesn't like certain people, but...she can be calmed down easier and she is such a daddy's girl now! plan your weekend away, you may need to let your dh catch up on some sleep...but, this stage is only temporary.
    Thank you for posting this ... I do have a 4 year old too ... maybe I should see if he can spend the weekend with Grandma and Grandpa.


  8. #8
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!
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    This is quite normal. You are all the baby sees, day in and day out. In their eyes Dad is there occassionally. It's good that they have this bond for you. They don't realize you're coming right back at this age. Tell Dad it has nothing to do with HIM, just the fact that he is not YOU.

  9. #9
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    When you go out leave something with your smell on it. A shirt or somthing like that or even a blanket that daddy can wrap her in or better yet wear one of your dh's shirt for a while then he can put it on when you leave so it smells like you. Good LUck
    Your life is a result of the choices you make, if you don't like your life it's time to start making better choices.

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    My older two kids (Bri especially) had no inate sense of strangers. Bri you could pass to anyone and she didn't care. Maybe it's because she spent time in the NICU? Who knows.

    So, it was kind of a shock when Katie hated everyone but me. After a few months, dad was ok if that's all there was, but if I walked by she'd reach for me. She is getting better, but will still scream if a stange man so much as looks at her. Also, she refuses to call Mike dad - she calls us both Mom. Heh.




  11. #11
    Senior Member Madie&Logan's Mom's Avatar
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    Logan is 15 months and he literally just recently (the past few months) has gone to Chris. Seriously. He now runs to him and climbs up on the couch with him or runs to him with arms outstretched when he gets home from work. He still prefers to be with me, but he now lets Chris hold him or take him somewhere without the full meltdown. Logan is totally my little boy. He's still within site of me, is sitting on my lap or attached to my hip.

    Madison on the other hand would go with anyone...well, after her colic that is. lol. But as she got older (closer to 2) she actually prefers to be with Chris. She'll sit with him if hubby and I are on different couches. Sometimes when we grocery shop we split up and I ask her every time whom she'd like to shop with. She always choses her Daddy. Always. She's adores him.

    With Logan though it was really hard when he was close to your daughter's age now. If Logan saw me and I didn't have him, he'd be so upset. Chris started to take it really personal after a while. Chris could not console him when he'd cry for a long time and the second I'd pick him up, he'd stop. Logan got like this with just about everyone though. Again, it's fairly recently that he's taken to others. I know Amyunicorn can agree with the differences between my kids.

    So my point is it took a long time, but Logan did finally go to Chris on his own and now he does it every day.
    ~Christine~

    Mom to Madison Anne (5) and Logan Douglas (2)

  12. #12
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    DS use to do this untill DF was off work for a while and spending more time with him ,now we share the time.. yes i spend more time but when he is home he takes over for feeding and changing and playing but it helps even out the time



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    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!

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    My son went through this too so normal and it will pass. Your baby is 7 months if I remember correctly so it may be the start of separation anixety/stranger anixety with is a normal part of development for many kids. Try to think of it as a good sign that theres a strong healthy bond between you but I know it's hard when your the only one that can do anything for her
    Cole is 8 years old! January, 2005
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  14. #14
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom! Mommy2Cuties's Avatar
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    It is most likely a phase but could Daddy be anxious or unsure lately.. or stressed about something that could be sending out vibes? I am sure you know this but kids pick up on the smallest things and if Daddy is festering internally the child will pick up and actually start to feel the same.

    Just a thought...
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    awww that is sad... Noah has no personal prefference for either Dh or me unless hes hurt. It's kinda sad to be so disposable. Although last night I had date night with my nephews and when I got home Noah curled up on my lap. I felt very loved by him. Dh said he was looking out the front window for me

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