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  1. #1
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    Default How to keep the faith when...

    your husband is a non-believer ?

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    my husband is baptised catholic but not really a believer. it doesn't affect me or the kids (who go to church and DD goes to catholic school) at all. we had this discussion a while ago and he doesn't mind that i try to raise them as catholics. he may not believe in the scriptures, but we share the same values anyways.

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    my D/f and I agree'd to raise our kids with out religon at all. once they are old enough to make their own decisions we will provide the information to them and encourage their own research. because I feel if I presented information my own bias would be introduced. and no d/f for sure his own bias would be introduced.and let them pick how ever they want

    I still practise and believe in my ways just because my d/f is a practising athiest and has extreamly strong view on religion doesn't sway my beliefs
    ~Who ever said "don't cry over spilt milk" has never been a breast feeding mother with latch issues standing over a puddle



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    I find it hard, tbh. I'd love to have someone to talk to about it sometimes, but he has no interest. He do go to church with us on holidays and things like that, doesn't tell the kids he doesn't believe or anything. Just doesn't promote or encourage it.

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    Dh was pretty instrumental with my coming to terms with my atheism. I searched very hard for religion for years, but nothing felt right until I realized none of them were. So I guess I would say I didn't keep my faith.

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    It is very difficult to keep your faith when your DH doesn't believe because of the truth about being yoked.
    Men are supposed to be the head of the house, spiritually.
    It is very much a battle- a spiritual one. BUT prayer is powerful and the power of a praying wife is valuable to your question. If you are a faith believing/practising wife, he can/will turn around and become a believer too. Just keep praying that he will need HIM. When we need HIM, we find HIM then we serve HIM and love HIM>
    When I found my DH I prayed that I would be yoked to him in my beliefs from the get go. Lots of prayer and lots of obedience has blessed me.

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    dh and I discussed prior to marriage - I wanted to be married in a Catholic Church - we compromised and had just a wedding ceremony rather than full service. When it came time to go to school, I agreed to look at all schools in the area and not just the Catholic ones and attempt to choose what we both thought was the best - they happen to be in Catholic school - we do not go to Church regularly, however, when we do sometimes it is just the boys and I but if we ask, he will come, I only ask on special occaissions. We say prayrs before all meals and he says them too. He supports my choice to raise my boys Catholic.

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    I agree with eyebeeablessing, its hard but prayer is where you start. I kinda lost my way for a year or two there. I felt it starting to ruin our relationship and communication lines were shut down. I needed God/Jesus. I went to church- confided in a good SIL and together we are praying. I pray hard for DH to need Jesus and I feel it is working. The last 3 weeks have been soo good between us.
    He is ok with me trying this new church, taking the kids to Sunday School, and he sees how they love it. And them speaking of Bible stories etc.
    I don't think 'nagging' works (ive tried), just being there and quietly serving Jesus will be a great example and he will notice.
    Love isn't love till you give it away.



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    It's lonely but no one said it would be an easy journey.
    No one in my or my DH's family has a stick of religion in them and only one or two of our friends are believers so a few years ago when I started to believe it was super lonely. Still is most days.
    I have been blessed to have a husband who is supportive though and although he doesn't believe he never puts down my beliefs. He has agreed I can teach the children about God/Jesus and that they can go to a Catholic school to have more peers that believe and to learn more since all they have is me to teach them at home.
    I've also been searching for a good church with a good supportive feel to it.
    It's hard to be married to someone who doesn't believe, especially when you didn't start the relationship off as a believer, but it takes prayer and patience.



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    Oh don't get me started about Catholics or organized religion! My first husband who I refer to as 'little hitler' wanted to be married in the Catholic church but they denied him since I was raised protestant and he never went to church anyway. He was the most horrid, abusive man I've ever met in my life. Yeah, good job religion!

    I had my 4 children baptised in the United Church where my parents raised me, but have since quit going to church completely. As a young woman so very many bad things happened to me that I turned against God.

    Now I believe in God but take the bible and organized religion with a grain of salt, believing it all to be invented by man to make money. Eeek, don't throw tomatoes at me! Come on, the Vatican is the richest country in the world!

    I allowed my children to make their own decisions as adults. One is a Jehovah's Witness, the next is agnostic, the third is an atheist, and the youngest believes in God but does not believe in organized religions, the same as me.

    I'm sure as my children grow and learn they will change their beliefs as I did over the decades. It just seems to me that the worst crimes and wars in history have been commited in the name of 'God' or 'religion' and that's just so very wrong.

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    Honestly I don't really think this post belongs in this thread at all because it's not very supportive. However, I will respond to your statements.

    Oh don't get me started about Catholics or organized religion! My first husband who I refer to as 'little hitler' wanted to be married in the Catholic church but they denied him since I was raised protestant and he never went to church anyway. He was the most horrid, abusive man I've ever met in my life. Yeah, good job religion!

    **Horrible abusive men come from all walks of life unfortunately. I was with an horrible abusive athiest for a good 2 years. I'm sorry you went through that but he doesn't sound like he was a very “religious“ man anyway so I'm not sure how religion played into his temperament.

    I had my 4 children baptised in the United Church where my parents raised me, but have since quit going to church completely. As a young woman so very many bad things happened to me that I turned against God.

    **I'm sorry to hear that. Life really hasn't been roses here either. I did leave the church for a while after my grandparents died as the result of a drunk driver killing them in a car accident. I blamed God for that. I would call that a pretty negative experience. However, that said, God has also been there for us and gotten us through some pretty rough times. I'm glad to have Him in my life.

    Now I believe in God but take the bible and organized religion with a grain of salt, believing it all to be invented by man to make money. Eeek, don't throw tomatoes at me! Come on, the Vatican is the richest country in the world!

    **I'm confused. .I thought you said you turned against God? So how can you still believe in Him? The Bible is His word. Organized religion is man made so it's not without fault. As for churches the majority of them don't seem to be very profitable so I'm not sure how it was “invented to make money“. Most churches have charitable status. They cover their costs and, if they're a good church, they also give back to the community. Not saying the scammy church don't exist - the tent ministry bells and whistles type you see on tv, they may, but the majority of average churches aren't money making ventures.

    I'm sure as my children grow and learn they will change their beliefs as I did over the decades. It just seems to me that the worst crimes and wars in history have been commited in the name of 'God' or 'religion' and that's just so very wrong.

    **There are many causes for war and crimes. I'm not debating that religion is not a factor, however, for example, money is also a pretty big cause of crime and you don't see many people looking to do away with money.
    [/QUOTE]
    Last edited by Findabhair; 07-01-2012 at 11:44 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Upsidedownmuffin View Post
    Honestly I don't really think this post belongs in this thread at all because it's not very supportive. However, I will respond to your statements.

    **Now I believe in God but take the bible and organized religion with a grain of salt, believing it all to be invented by man to make money. Eeek, don't throw tomatoes at me! Come on, the Vatican is the richest country in the world!**

    I'm confused. .I thought you said you turned against God? So how can you still believe in Him? The Bible is His word. Organized religion is man made so it's not without fault. As for churches the majority of them don't seem to be very profitable so I'm not sure how it was “invented to make money“. Most churches have charitable status. They cover their costs and, if they're a good church, they also give back to the community. Not saying the scammy church don't exist - the tent ministry bells and whistles type you see on tv, they may, but the majority of average churches aren't money making ventures.
    I agree with the first 1/2 of your post because I don't see how that answer dealt with the question directly.

    But the second 1/2 doesn't make sense. Many, many people believe in god while rejecting organized religion wholesale. Many people believe in a higher power while thinking that the bible and all churches are created by humans and are not divinely inspired. There is no contradiction in this unless you are saying your Christian method of belief is the only legitimate way for someone to believe in god? IMO turning your back on the church does not preclude a belief in god.

    Do you have a citation for your claim that the average church doesn't make money? Because while I have not done research into it, I have read numerous claims that the vatican is worth about a trillion dollars and has more physical wealth than any other corporation (religious or not) in the world. Off the top of my head I can think of LDS as another that is pretty wealthy thanks to tithing... but I have not looked into this at all. It would be interesting to have some neutral and reputable sources.
    Last edited by WateryTart; 07-02-2012 at 01:41 AM.

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    [QUOTE=Cat Beard;1692505]I agree with the first 1/2 of your post because I don't see how that answer dealt with the question directly.

    But the second 1/2 doesn't make sense. Many, many people believe in god while rejecting organized religion wholesale. Many people believe in a higher power while thinking that the bible and all churches are created by humans and are not divinely inspired. There is no contradiction in this unless you are saying your Christian method of belief is the only legitimate way for someone to believe in god? IMO turning your back on the church does not preclude a belief in god.

    ***I wasn't arguing with the organized religion part I'm saying the Bible is the inspired word of God so to take it with a grain of salt is confusing to me if you truly believe in God. Even outside of an organized religion situation you would want to read the Bible, if you believed, to learn more about Him and his word. It's just my opinion. I'm no expert.

    Do you have a citation for your claim that the average church doesn't make money? Because while I have not done research into it, I have read numerous claims that the vatican is worth about a trillion dollars and has more physical wealth than any other corporation (religious or not) in the world. Off the top of my head I can think of LDS as another that is pretty wealthy thanks to tithing... but I have not looked into this at all. It would be interesting to have some neutral and reputable sources.

    ***Our church covers it's bills, they have a fairly large budget and 3/4 of the time by the end of the year our church is short on money and has to ask the congregation for enough money to cover the expenses that it has already incurred. We belong to a huge church with a lot of people who seem to be well off and it is usually not a problem for us to get out of the red by the end of the year and balance, however, a church is very dependant on it's members and a lot of the churches I've been to don't have a heck of a lot of members. I'm not Catholic though so I really can't speak for the Catholic church. When I travelled through parts of Europe and went to various Catholic “attractions“ they did tend to be very busy places so perhaps the Catholic church is more profitable than other churches.

    I used to go to a Lutheran church when I was growing up and they were continually in the red. . .for years. They couldn't fix roof leaks, etc. A piece of the ceiling came down the one day during church. I'm talking the small, protestant churches generally. The Vatican may be big money, I really don't know. Another thing is things may be different at the national and international level for churches than for individual congregations.
    Last edited by Findabhair; 07-02-2012 at 10:35 AM.

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    Catbeard, here is an example, at the Canadian level. This is the governing body for the Lutheran Church in Canada Charities Listings I don't know what the Catholic church calls itself on the national level or I'd post that.
    Last edited by Findabhair; 07-02-2012 at 10:41 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Upsidedownmuffin View Post
    I wasn't arguing with the organized religion part I'm saying the Bible is the inspired word of God so to take it with a grain of salt is confusing to me if you truly believe in God. Even outside of an organized religion situation you would want to read the Bible, if you believed, to learn more about Him and his word. It's just my opinion. I'm no expert.
    Except... Christians aren't the only people who believe in god. Most people who are not a Christian AND believe in god don't think the bible is divinely inspired. There isn't anything special about the bible if you are not an xtian, any more than xtians value or think about the holy books and texts of other religions. It is probable that mom4ever was likely expressing that while she still has a belief in god/higher power, she does not believe in the Christian version of this.

    I'm not too concerned about a church's charitable status. That doesn't mean too much to me.
    Last edited by WateryTart; 07-02-2012 at 11:43 AM.

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