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  1. #1
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    Default question about travel and dad's permission

    I am separated from DS's father. We have no custody arrangement. My son lives with me and my parents. DS's father sees him whenever he asks, which is usually about twice a week, on supervised visits. He has not asked for custody or anything more than these play visits.

    My family wants to take a vacation to a resort sometime this winter (me, my siblings, my parents, and my son). What is the best way to ask DS's father and can he stop us from going?
    I think that initially he will agree but then will disagree. I would like to get something in writing from him saying he agrees. How far in advance should we ask?
    What are your ideas on this?
    Former Username JOTR

  2. #2
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    Ask as soon as you know details. Have everything written out (2 copies, one for you, one for him) have him sign both. Have dates, where you will stay, flight info etc. If he refuses, then you will need to go to court to have a judge make him sign. So the sooner the better.

    He cannot refuse without good cause. Also you will have to have him sign the passport (and once he does that, the government looks at it like he agrees to you travelling with the child).

  3. #3
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    I took M to Trinidad without his dad when he was 9 months old. No one said a thing to me. I was with my parents. I had a letter jic I was asked. Coming back home the customs person asked where his dad was.

    I don't think he can stop you from taking him away just like you can't stop him if he wants to do the same.
    My little man was born on Oct 12/08 at home into Dad's loving hands.
    My little lady was born on July 28/11 at home... Daddy was busy keeping mom company.


    I have 1 baby Santa Suit for Sale 0-3 months (http://forum.londonmoms.ca/vbclassif...&memberid=2201) or to Trade (http://forum.londonmoms.ca/104323-tr...it#post1592622). Thanks for looking!

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    When I went in October to get my kiddies there passports, they asked me if I had any travel plans, when I would be going where, etc, they called my childrens father to confirm that he knew of my plans and if he indeed sign the passport app.Asked him the dates of travel and the destination. We also do not have any type of agreement in writing. He also did a letter up for us to show at the border and the airport to which we were never asked for. My kids are 6 and 4 so the customs people did ask them there own seperate questions to mine. Your little one will obviously be too little to answer but I would for sure have a letter in hand stating he is aware you are travelling. I believe you can even go on line and get a letter to fill out with your info.

  5. #5
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    We already have a passport.
    I am not concerned about border authorities stopping us, but about DS' father trying to stop him and thus ruining the trip for all of us (the trip will not happen without us).

    I guess we will ask him if he accepts DS going, and then book the trip and then have him sign on the details? If he does this then he shouldn't be able to reneg, right?
    Former Username JOTR

  6. #6
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    If the country doesn't have extradition (or whatever the term is) he could go to court and stop you maybe.
    SO's parents have custody of his son and were told by their lawyer that his mother could never get any visitation through court to australia and that if they allowed a visit that canada has no way to get him back, so no court would allow it.

    I would talk to him about it soon enough and get him to sign a paper - maybe go to a legal clinic or lawyer office and just have him sign an affidavit in front of lawyer to show he gave his ok.

  7. #7
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    You can get a notarized letter ahead of time. I considered this because I was nervous about travelling alone with the girls, but no one asked me a thing about Dh when leaving Canada.

    If possible, makes the letter vague regarding the dates, and don't tell dad then exact date you are leaving, or say you are leaving a week later than you are... Then he can't kick up a last minute stink.

  8. #8
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    He agreed in person to my mom but then wrote me an email saying he would only sign a permission letter if I signed a letter that he could travel with DS whenever he wanted and that DS could get his nationality passport, basically blackmail to set up a kidnapping. There is no way I would sign such a letter.
    Off to FLIC we go for legal advice, I guess.
    Former Username JOTR

  9. #9
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    WTF?! Jerk. I hope FLIC has some good advice for ya.
    My little man was born on Oct 12/08 at home into Dad's loving hands.
    My little lady was born on July 28/11 at home... Daddy was busy keeping mom company.


    I have 1 baby Santa Suit for Sale 0-3 months (http://forum.londonmoms.ca/vbclassif...&memberid=2201) or to Trade (http://forum.londonmoms.ca/104323-tr...it#post1592622). Thanks for looking!

  10. #10
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    Whenever my ex or I travel, two copies of a letter is signed and dated by both of us. The conversation usually goes like this... “Heading to NC with the kids for the week, bringing a letter for you to sign“ It gets signed and it's done. No further discussion.

    If you don't make it a big issue hopefully it won't become one. I've got my fingers crossed for you. These custody issues are stinky..

  11. #11
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    make sure you keep the email from him.

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