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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by hockeymomof3 View Post
    I chose to leave. Litterly (sp?), I took just the 3 children, and a basket full of clothing!! I started over with nothing, and was homeless for 6 weeks, but I did it all on my own!! The only thing worth saving, were my 3 children!! I didn't and still don't care about what I left behind. I am sure I could have had him kicked out of the house, but the children were the only things worth fighting for.
    My mom did almost the same with my older sister and myself. But its a bit longer then yours. My dad was married to his first cousin, had my half sister, cheated on his first wife with my mom (My mom had no idea about it until she showed up the one day at her work and asked for my dad) then he divorced his first wife married my mom (my moms first mistake!) Had my oldest sister, got preg. with me, found out he was cheating again on her, left him. I was born, divorce was finalized days after I was born, was divorced for 8 years. She went to a party, he was there, she got drunk,(2nd mistake!) he took advantaged, she got preg. They got back together for our sake (3rd mistake) Was with him for another 7 yrs. And just a few months ago we FIANLLY Got rid of him. He left (The next day he had a bloody job which means he was going to leave us anyways) He distoried my moms buisness, left us with nothing. We lost our house and everything. He now lives in Sarnia, runs a motel, and get paid $600 every two weeks, gets free room and food. And here we are, struggling just to stay in the house were in.
    So I dont know what its like to leave like that as the mother, but I do know what its like as the child. And trust me sweetheart. Your kids wont blame you for it one bit. They might blame you for it by words, but deep down they don't mean it at all. As long as your willing to fight for what you believe in, they will understand. And don't ever let anyone tell you, what you did was wrong. Because my mom is my hero for more reasons then most, but the top reason isnt because of how much she supports me with my daughter, but because she left him behind and did what was best for all of us!

  2. #32
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    it was mutual i guess. he was a jerk and i was a *****. basically we just had a pretty good argument and split. i think we both regret it now though. i'm doing ok now and he's doing fine by the looks of it but there are times when it's clear we both miss each other. we'll see what the future brings. ds is nearly half a year old and it hurts when i see him missing his daddy... i can really tell

  3. #33
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    I left because of verbal abuse from someone i thought loved me for two years.
    I was used, discarded and replaced by someone he now plans on marrying (8 years younger then him).
    As i was informed it was due to his immaturity and unbalanced personality that the verbal abuse occurred.
    I was going to disappear being pregnant and ideally never talk to him again but when i had Zach i realized evil only prevails when good people fail to act.
    I have contacted him ONLY for Zach and made it very clear that i would not put up with any nasty statements, comments or anything not Zach related on a continual basis. He needs to be financially responsible for our son regardless of the fact that he initially wanted me to abort him. As for seeing his son. We are in two different provinces. I came home to be near family and super close friends. He will try to obtain partial custody but as i am aware and know he will not get it.
    He can have visitations when he comes to Ontario but i intend on being at them for the first while as Zach is young and does not know him at all. He is a complete stranger to him and i want to ensure he does not mistreat Zach.
    So, in response to your question, i chose to be single. Not because i wanted to be but because it was the healthiest thing for us. I do not regret being a single mom.

  4. #34
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    Well.. My story begins in Highschool. I was in Grade 10 and he was Grade 12. I had every intention of remaining abstinant until marriage, but in only 2 months of our relationship I decided I wanted him to have my virginity (August 2007)

    By March 2008, I had become pregnant. I was taking Yasmin b/c, but had stopped the use of it because I had already suspected pregnancy in the begining of March, once I found out my due date (December 11) I calculated that it wasnt until the end of March that we had concieved. From there I made the assumption that sooner or later, being as how you don't hear many highschool sweethearts happy endings, I'd likely become a single mother.

    Before I had told him officially that I was pregnant we had gotten into a fight because he had started fooling around (at least I suspected) behind my back with a 15yr old girl (I was 17, he was 19). By about the begining of May he had made the decision that he wanted me to have an abortion, I had told him that I really didn't feel like I could do that, and that I really saw no reason as to why we couldn't keep the baby. We fought about it some, and I decided that I loved him and would do it for him. The appointment was scheduled and my Mom took me and him in to wait for me to be seen. When it was time to go in, my Mom told me they'd just be in the cafeteria if I needed them. I went to sit in another waiting room where a doctor came in and told me to take these pills to start the procedure. I sat there holding the pills and thats when it hit me; I couldn't possibly go through with this, it went against my personal thoughts and feelings about it, I started bawling and looked around the room, one of the girls beside me asked if I'd taken the pills, I shook my head no, she told me to get up and run and that I wasn't ready to do this. I am SO thankful for her saying this. I'm sure I would have made the choice but her telling me to get up and run made it much easier on my part to do what I felt was right. I dropped the pills in the trash and took off. I got to one of the elevators to go down to the cafeteria and ran into my Mom, she asked what I was doing, I told her I can't do this, and she looked at me and said thats perfectly fine. I went to the cafeteria and told my (at the time) boyfriend that I was staying pregnant. He actually asked me to reschedule the appt and try again! I told him I wouldn't do it and he broke up with me. From then on it was a battle. He would leave me, and then he would call me up bawling his eyes out and beg me to take him back, every 6 months for 2 years! Finally by January 2010, enough was enough. He broke up with me New Years Eve, and this time when he came crawling back, I told him to turn the f*ck around and go back to the sewer he came from. Since then the only time I saw him was when he was interested in having his way with me rather then actually using his visitation to see my son. As of recently, I haven't seen him since January 2011. Haven't recieved a dime in child support, and you know what... I could care less!

    My son doesn't even recognise the man as his father!

    I went into this knowing I'd be a single parent, and I wouldn't have it any other way. At least until I find “the one“

    Even now; 2nd pregnancy, and I've been coping with the changes and dealing with the emotional ride of creating an adoption plan for this child, ALONE.

    Any man can be a father, it takes a real man to be a Dad.
    I'm a single Mom, and I'm proud.


  5. #35
    Junior Member luvnzluv's Avatar
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    Yes and No. My situation is complicated. As i am sure most of ours are or can be.
    Life is what you make it! Fo shiz.

  6. #36
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    I'm not single anymore but I'm not with the father. Not by choice although now, I'm glad that it happened. He was emotionally abusive to me. He left me. Cheated on me when I was 5 months pregnant, I had been willing to forget it all and move on so we could be a family for our son. He just refused to grow up. Even now, he doesn't do much for being a father. He saw our son on holidays and that was pretty much it. Since meeting the guy I'm with now, I've realized that staying together for the children isn't always the right choice. Like one of the previous posters said, two miserable parents is not healthy for children. I do have to thank my ex though. Because of him, I wouldn't have my son. I wouldn't have realized that I didn't deserve to be treated the way he treated me.

  7. #37
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    It is so hard for me to respond to such a sensitive topic. I have read all the replies, and I hope that you find comfort in knowing that you are not alone, and even though you have not made any life changing decisions, hopefully you can get some insight on what you need to do to make you happy. My husband and I sperated 6 months ago. We got married in 2007, but we were together for 5 years before that. Our daughter was born in 2009, and even though I always had thoughts on my head that our relationship would never last, I fought tooth and nail to try to remain positive and focused to make us “work“. I just couldnt imagine giving up on a life I had known for so many years. He was everything that I had ever known. I loved his family, and I loved the life he was able to provide for me. We bought a house together, and I am only 29 years old!! But as the years went by he started being less and less of a husband and a friend. He didnt care about the little things, such as cuddling and spending “quality time“, all he wanted was sex, and being satisfied. The romance was gone. I felt like I had gone from being a friend and a wife to just an object. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make, and I struggle every day. But the fighting and feeling worthless was not the life I wanted to give my daughter.

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by myrrah View Post
    The baby I am expecting was conceived via a donor.
    WHAT?!

    ETA: Old thread Got my hopes up!
    Last edited by M2M; 04-21-2011 at 01:40 PM.

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by mom2markus View Post
    WHAT?!

    ETA: Old thread Got my hopes up!
    I was thinking that I was SO out of the loop too!
    Married 2005. DD1 2007. DD2 2011. Beta Sigma Phi 2013.
    ... and one cute little kitty!


  10. #40
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    I left when my youngest was 3 weeks old,was an abusive relationship.Best and hardest thing i have ever done.So yes in a sense i chose to be a single mom,better than having my son grow up thinking it's an ok way to treat women.

  11. #41
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    Yes I chose this... though it's new'ish and really hard...

  12. #42
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    I chose to be a single mom and I didn't... It's kind of hard to explain. I was a single mom with our daughter because he was in the army and based in Edmonton. He went to Afghanistan and left the army 8 months after his tour ended. We decided to have another child and once I was 7 months pregnant, I noticed huge changes in him. Two months after our son was born I kicked him out because he was never home and left me for eight days with a baby and a 4 year old. A year later I found out in court, he was cheating on me while I was pregnant with our son. I believe he suffers from PTSD...

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