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  1. #16
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    I'm not sure I chose to be single, but I am so much happier now that I am. I think of how many nights I stayed at home alone crying and stressed out because of my ex when we were together, knowing that he was being unfaithful and now I don't cry at all! I'm happy and independent. I don't even get angry anymore and I cherish all the time I get to spend with my son and realize that hey I DID THAT! Some people just bring out the worst in eachother and I don't think any child needs to be around parents who are fighting or upset all the time. I think it is better for a child(ren) to come from a "broken" home, rather than live in one.

  2. #17
    Senior Member BabyDaisy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaleb'sMomLinz View Post
    I think it is better for a child(ren) to come from a "broken" home, rather than live in one.
    That is SOO true, makes me feel so much better about being alone with him, I always feel guilty that he doesn't have a father in the same house as him, but I was sick of crying too, and it comes a time that enough is enough!

  3. #18
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    Yeah, this whole 'broken home' thing is ridiculous. It implies that the only 'intact' family structure for a child is the nuclear family. I do not buy that one little bit. In fact I think that particular myth has done a lot of damage to a lot of people.
    LondonMoms has really gone downhill, ever since they started chit chatting in the home and garden forum. There is a place for chit chat, people!!!

  4. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by myrrah View Post
    Yeah, this whole 'broken home' thing is ridiculous. It implies that the only 'intact' family structure for a child is the nuclear family. I do not buy that one little bit. In fact I think that particular myth has done a lot of damage to a lot of people.
    ITA, I have seen way too many abused women stay with their partners for the kids sake. Sad thing is, when a child grows up around an abusive parent, then they think that is the correct way to treat their partner (or other people) and the cycle may continue (not always true, but I would think majority). Even if it's verbal or emotional abuse, it's not good for the child to be around.

  5. #20
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    Mine wasn't by choice at all.
    My ex left when I was 4mths pregnant with no reason. Decided that we needed to take a break and try again later, the bullshit excuse was that he was too young and never wanted to be a father. He kept telling me he loved me and that he wanted to try and be a family but never did anything to persue it.
    When I went in the hospital to be induced, my ex showed up at the hospital with a hickey the size of a sliver dollar on his neck. I later found out that he left cause he was cheating on me with the girl he is with now.
    I was bitter in the beginning...but now I just don't even care anymore. Im over it 100% and am moving on with my life. My daughter is THE most impotrant person in my life and I love her to death. Wouldn't change her for NOTHING!
    I just keep thinking to myself that something good came with his help....My Beautiful little girl <33
    Kaylyn and Addisons Mommy

    Kaylyn May Yvette: Born Nov 28/05
    Addison Stephanie: Due May 31/10

  6. #21
    Senior Member Greenwaves's Avatar
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    When I was about 7-8 months preg with my daughter I met mr. fiance at the bus stop on his way home from work because I was having contractions and wanted to go in to get checked out...he had just cashed his cheque and gave me $20 of it and said that he would meet me there in an hour - 2 hours he just wanted to go buy some weed 1st!!! Well 4 hours later he never showed up at the hospital so I called my mom to see if she could come and sit with me. He ended up going to stay at one of his friends place and he was sleeping in the same bed as his friends girlfriend and her boyfriend was sleeping on the couch...and the worst part about it was that her and her bf used to come over different times to hang out so she knew about me being preg and everything!!! So I called the landlord and had them change the locks on my apartment door then called mr. fiance and told him that he can come and pick up his sh*t it will be on the balcony. He comes over telling me he just needs a break and stuff (yea right). I told him there was no point if he is choosing to stay at some girls place then I know he already cheated so whatever. The next day the neighbor came down and told me that he wanted to tell me something...turns out mr. fiance had started doing drugs behind my back like a week earlier...I messaged him on MSN saying that he can stay with the **** he is with because he is not getting me back and don't think that you are ever going to see the baby once it is born. I have only heard from him once since then. And the $20 he gave me when I was going to the hospital was ALL the money that I had to buy food and everything I needed for that month...and I was on bed rest too...so I ended up staying at my grandparents place for pretty much the rest of my pregnancy.

    April 14, 2001-May 05, 2001
    April 29, 2015

  7. #22
    Junior Member Zabsmom's Avatar
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    I'm single by choice. I just knew that I had "X" amount of energy, and that if the father of my son (he's never seen him and doesn't know IF he was born or when) was taking and using my energy, then I would have less energy to spend on my son. I felt I owed it to my son to make him my first priority. I felt that his father was selfish for using and wasting my energy when I was 5 months pregnant and trying to grow a healthy baby. I didn't bother sticking around to give him a chance to waste more once baby came.
    I also don't worry about role models or no having a nucular family. My family of origin is HUGE and my son fits right in. I think he feels that my dad is his dad not his grandpa....he calls him dad lol

  8. #23
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    Removing my post, no drama wanted, thank you!
    Last edited by FlowerAngel; 10-12-2008 at 10:06 PM.

  9. #24
    thismamahassomedrama
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    hmmmm... of course I didnt choose to be single either.... but after 4 years of emotional and mental abuse... and being called useless and a stupid **** because I didnt cook supper for him.. I left and returned 2 hours later.. to find thepolcie in our apartment.. he reported us missing.... after talking to the policea bit.. he told me you walk out that door you walk out for good... I said I am walking out that door....I cried my way down the elavator to my van... 10:30 at night with a asleeping child..thankfully a good friend I called her and she took us in.....

    we've been split for over a year and the abuse even got WORSE when we split... I am done with him and want nothing to do with him... and wish oru son didnt have to witness all my abuse too...

  10. #25
    Skyler'sMama
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    awww these stories break my heart. I am currently going through a "divorce" from my common law and the father of my baby. He told me that he is not attracted to me anymore, but wants to still stay together. I don't know exactly how that would work, but there have been too many things said and my heart has been broken too many times to stay with him. I am not exactly choosing to be a single mum, but I want my son to be happy and that can only happen if his mum is happy.

  11. #26
    Expert Forum User The Ultimate London Mom!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Skyler'sMama View Post
    I want my son to be happy and that can only happen if his mum is happy.
    I think that is perfectly put. You need to be happy yourself in order to take care of your son and the relationship you have together. The outcome is much better when a Mommy is happy and showing a positive lifestyle IMO

  12. #27
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    I am going thro this now, baby's daddy left me earlyer this week, as much of a shock i was in i knew it was comming its for selfish reasons and i find myself hoping he will come back i want him here iwth me and th ebaby an dthen i get soo mad i wanna scream but i dont im being "very strong" so everyone tells me but i dont feel it 6 months pregnat and i have to change all my plans and yet i still love him and want him with me!? why are men so confuzing??

  13. #28
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    I chose to leave. Litterly (sp?), I took just the 3 children, and a basket full of clothing!! I started over with nothing, and was homeless for 6 weeks, but I did it all on my own!! The only thing worth saving, were my 3 children!! I didn't and still don't care about what I left behind. I am sure I could have had him kicked out of the house, but the children were the only things worth fighting for.

  14. #29
    Senior Member tracysnest's Avatar
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    My DS dad left 2 weeks after we found out I was preg, so I didn't choose but I am glad things happened then rather than later. I choose to be single now and have ended relationships that don't seem to be the right "fit" for my son and I. Single parenting is not always easy but I'd rather be single than in a bad relationship.

  15. #30
    Junior Member Jenuwyn's Avatar
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    My ex decided that the grass was greener on the other side so he cheated and left us. In a way though it worked out better for us because now I don't live in fear of being kicked out because rent wasn't paid or heat or hydro or phone being shut off because they weren't paid either. Now everything is paid and I live a more sane life.
    Jen
    Jenuwyn - previously known as KnCmama



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