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  1. #1
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    Default Would you go - funeral

    My dads very close friend passed away yesterday after a very long battle with cancer. He was in a lot of pain for longer than anyone should ever experience.
    The funeral is on Saturday, my dad is on his own and is taking the death hard, he has watched a lot of friends pass away in the last couple years. He does have a couple mutual friends going to the funeral but I feel I should be there to support him. I asked him if he'd like me there, he said he'd get back to me. I don't think he wants me to see him upset.
    Would you push to go or let him do what he needs to do? He also doesn't drive so he'd be walking to and from the funeral home.
    I feel so sad for him. He has R's cat, the cat is 15 and not adjusting well to the move. I really hope the cat doesn't pass away now, she is a comfort to my dad right now.

    Rest in peace R, you will be missed!!








    “life is not measured by the breaths you take but by the moments that take your breath away“

  2. #2
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    I'm sorry to hear about your fathers loss. I think if it was my Dad (he'd most likely tell me he was OK to go on his own as well, not seem like he needed anyone) I would just go and not ask him anymore. I would want to be there for him, especially after what he's been through, how he's taking it and that he's walking there alone.
    Last edited by newmum2; 08-25-2011 at 10:38 PM.

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    I'm sorry for your dad's loss. I'd tell him that you are there for him and if he wants you to go with him you are more than happy to be there for him. I'd maybe inclined ot go if it were me but if you feel he'd rather you didn't then I'd just let him know he can count on you to get him through this in whatever way he needs.

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    That's what I was thinking. He has been going to R's everyday to take care of stuff around his house and take care of the cat. R was in and out of palliative care for a couple months and they moved him to a hospice in Woodstock a few days ago. He was sedated for the last couple days cause even on morfine he was just screaming in pain
    I'm glad he's no longer in pain








    “life is not measured by the breaths you take but by the moments that take your breath away“

  5. #5
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    if it were me, i would just go. sometimes people have a hard time asking for things especially when they are upset.
    I know for my dad, he often tells me no to something, but i would still do it anyways because he can be stubborn sometimes and doesnt always say how he feels.
    Very sorry for yours and your dads loss

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    Quote Originally Posted by Noahsmom View Post
    if it were me, i would just go. sometimes people have a hard time asking for things especially when they are upset.
    I know for my dad, he often tells me no to something, but i would still do it anyways because he can be stubborn sometimes and doesnt always say how he feels.
    Very sorry for yours and your dads loss
    I think this is what I would do

    sorry your Dad is having a hard time

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    I too would probably go. Its your dad. Wasn`t he there when you didn`t think you needed (or wanted him) ??

    I`m sure he`s just afraid to ask. I know it can be for parents to see the table turned and admit they need to lean on their children in tough times.

    I am sure just seeing you there will be supportive. And if you knew the friend too, then its absolutely appropriate that you go.

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    Quote Originally Posted by medaevalmom View Post
    I too would probably go. Its your dad. Wasn`t he there when you didn`t think you needed (or wanted him) ??

    I`m sure he`s just afraid to ask. I know it can be for parents to see the table turned and admit they need to lean on their children in tough times.

    I am sure just seeing you there will be supportive. And if you knew the friend too, then its absolutely appropriate that you go.
    Honestly, no he wasn't there for me throughout my childhood. But I am going to be there for him. We've become closer since I've been older.
    I had never met R but heard about him, talked about him enough I feel I knew him








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    This may a chance to turn the table then, and be there for him.
    If you feel the need to go, then go. You have to trust your gut, and do what feels right to you

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    oh that is terribly sad news. I would go. When all is said and done i think years down the road your Dad will really appreciate you being there for him on that day. My condolences to your Dad and R's family.
    I'm

    [/B]

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    Thanks everyone. I am going to call him in a little bit to see how he is doing and to suggest I come.
    I know he needs some stuff for R's kitty and doesn't have the money for it so I'm going to go get some stuff and take it to his place.

    My heart is breaking for my dad, he hasn't made the best life choices and has many friends the same so it seems they are dying to cancer or alcohol related issues far too early!








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  12. #12
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    Yes, support you Dad in whatever way you feel is best.

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